PARIS IS BURNING

Paris Hilton is going to jail in June. For 45 days. Just enough time to pick up some fashionable accessories that go with stripes. And a little orange jumpsuit for her chihuahua.

For those living under a rock, you may wonder why the poor little heiress is being tormented. Well, she violated her probation (twice), driving with a suspended license, which came from a DUI arrest this fall.

Eve, the rap "artist" also made news for DUI, as did (it seems) thirteen thousand other celebs and wannabe celebs. In fact, DUI seems to be replacing eating disorders as the attention-getting device of those who would be stars. (Maybe it's just that they lack the secret ingredient--talent--that makes them have to work harder for the attention.) But then again, while eating disorders are distressful to others but mostly dangerous to the individual, driving while intoxicated threatens everyone's health and well-being, making it that much more potent--in terms of garnering attention, that is.

Why, oh, why does the media insist we care?! Is the situation in Darfur so sad that they know we won't watch THAT footage, so they give us Paris entering and leaving a courtroom, fashionably attired? (The world got to see Naomi Campbell's daily outfits for her community service, served for beating the umpteenth assistant with a cell phone or a vibrator or a Nordic track or something--we remember the walk to and from but not even the crime, thanks to the cameras!) Does the Bush administration have such a stranglehold on actual war statistics and battle coverage that instead the media outlets go to such desperate places as releasing tapes of David Hasselhoff falling off the wagon and being berated by his kids for doing so? Are we feeling so impotent at brokering peace in the Middle East that instead we concentrate on brokering some kind of truce between Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger? (Come now, is calling your daughter a "rude little pig" truly that bad a misdemeanor? And for all we know, maybe she IS behaving like a rude little pig--show me a kid who hasn't at some time or other!)

Something has gotten very corrupt in the media and no one is saying a word. It is like the news outlets are turning a blind eye to that which might sadden or even enrage the populace, choosing instead to stuff us with the meaningless exploits of debutantes. Even You Tube, developed as the people's reporting site, appears to be manipulated by those seeking attention. How did Eddie Griffin's destruction of a rare Ferrari make it to the air so quickly? Michael Richards' seemingly racist meltdown? Mike Daisey's contretemps with a Catholic school group walking out on his show en masse? And who leaked the Baldwin phone message to the media anyway? (Do YOUR personal phone messages end up on national television?)

Manipulating the media has become THE game of the century. He who rules the media rules the world (something Rupert Murdoch has had embroidered on his pillows for decades). And so we get further and further from the truth we can't or don't wish to face. Foreclosures on homes are at an all-time high, the private farms of this nation are disappearing as fast as the polar ice caps (which if you haven't noticed are melting even faster than predicted). But why think about these things when we can worry whether or not Paris will be treated like all the other prisoners?!

Again and again, our apathy let's these media mavens get away with their nefarious deeds. If we withheld our viewing AND OUR DOLLARS, perhaps we would get some respect. Our power is in our purchasing power, in viewing numbers. Until we display a healthy show of outrage, they will continue to laugh at us. Can't we tell them no?!

Until then, I can hardly wait to see what Paris is putting on her iPod for her stay--Jailhouse Rock, anybody?