PEARLS BEFORE . . .
(Not to hog up too much airspace, but thought this would be fun--and maybe one day bring home the bacon!)

When we panic, we try to protect ourselves and may inadvertently harm others less fortunate. There always has and always will be flu--let's put it in perspective, shall we? Or as Piggy says, "People, people, people . . ."




"Hello. I'm here to address an overwhelming concern that is sweeping the world. It's proper name, of course is the H1N1 virus. But far too often, it is being represented as the so-called swine flu. As a member of the maligned swine community, I wish to inform you all that we as a species do not pose imminent danger.

But someone got the idea that swine are easy targets.

I ask you--we already have to deal with prejudice in the entertainment industry, where pearls are ALWAYS cast before we are. But now to be blamed for some pandemic. Pandemonium is more like it!

People, people, people! We don't blame everything on you!

When people belly futures crashed and the farmers' market tumbled and so many of us lost our life savings, we didn't say "damn those humans"! And as glaciers melt and rain forests disappear and many gifted creatures disappear, did you EVER see one of us point a finger?

We are peaceful, loving creatures. We mean you no harm. So calm down! Have a glass of juice. Drink chicken soup. Point your snout away from others if you think you are going to sneeze and put a sock in it if you're gonna cough on someone. If feverish, stay home and watch a video--an excellent flick, for example, would be BABE. Great film, always good for a laugh.

And masks, in my experience, are colorful and attractive and stare at you from the walls, but they will not help you avoid the illness.

And please, please, please. Remember that every time you call it the swine flu, you insult me and my fellows. Every time you call it the swine flu, you hurt a piggy.

Thank you."