THOUGHTS FOR A NEW YEAR

L'shana tovah to all my Jewish brethren.

Yes, it's Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, when we are supposed to reflect on the past year, on what we've done wrong and whom we've wronged--and then, hopefully, begin the process of making amends. During the days between RH and Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), we are to ask forgiveness, humble ourselves, and clean the slate, such that we can be inscribed in the Book of Life for another year.

(Of course, let he who is truly without sin throw the first stone . . . )

But for some of us, beating ourselves up over what we've done wrong is not reserved just for the High Holidays, but is an active daily sport. We guess and second-guess ourselves over our mistakes, what may have been taken by others as a slight, who in turn has slighted us, etc. At Rosh Hashanah, we wonder if we can actually do a good enough job remembering all the wrongs, the mistakes, the misdeeds from one whole year. (No wonder depression hits so many around this time of year!) And can you really make amends with someone who dislikes you, especially for an imagined slight or a misunderstanding? Should one open wounds best left to heal with time?

There is, perhaps, a more positive and less self-flagellating aspect of this holiday--to be inscribed in the Book of Life. Traditionally, it implies one has made amends and is ready to try to live a better life in the coming year. This is a good idea, of course. But perhaps it also requires something which too many of us are unable or unwilling to do--letting go.

Each year, on January 1st (the "secular" New Year), my top resolution for many years has been to "let it go." As someone who is a pack rat in every sense of the word, I clog up my life with the emotional, intellectual and literal detritus that I somehow fear will come back to haunt me if I dispose of it. Letting go is the hardest lesson I have ever tried to learn, the one course I have had to retake over and over and over again. And yet it must be done, or else the very weight of the garbage carried along will drag you down to the bottom. In a recent interview, entrepreneur and talk show host Merv Griffin, a colorful and highly successful individual, described his life's philosophy simply as "Turn the page." One ultimately has as many failures as successes, but brooding about them is a waste of time--move on. Likewise, the great Russian playwright, Anton Chekhov, recognizes and gently chides his characters who mire themselves in the past: they are unable to make present tense choices, which results in their losing the options of choice and being left behind.

Those, like me, who worry things to death--what if, why did I, can't I just--will never successfully forget the wrongs, the misdeeds, the blow-by-blow details. It's not in our nature. But unless we accept and embrace the idea that we must move forward, let it go and turn the page, we will be forever mired and buried under the weight of past guilt. One must do one's best--but that's all you can do, so let go of the personal failures and MOVE ON. It's the healthiest thing course of action.

I'll let you know if I ever succeed at doing it.

QUICK CUTS

Continuum, John Mayer's newest CD, proves that this talented young artist is no flash in the pan, and that early hits like Your Body's a Wonderland, though charming, are not the entire breadth and depth of his abilities. A talent with much on his mind, Mayer continues to grow, change and deepen as a musician and as a man, and this album confirms both his dedication to his art and to the maturation process. (Columbia.)

Nip/Tuck (Tuesdays, 10 pm, F/X) I am a latecomer to this acclaimed cable series, but I am now motivated to go pick up the previous seasons' episodes on DVD. What series on broadcast television would even consider slapping the audience for its encouragement of narcissism? Julian McMahon and Dylan Walsh play enormously self-absorbed plastic surgeons in a world so tainted by venal self-interest that what you look like is the least of your worries. Jolie Richardson and Roma Mafia stand out in a strong supporting cast, while guest stars ranging from Peter Dinklage and Mario Lopez to Jacqueline Bisset and Rosie O'Donnell (!) keep the wattage high. In an age of celebrity worship, what really matters in our daily lives? For all the sex (graphically depicted), nudity and blood (mostly in surgery), this show is an everyman morality tale dressed in hot bodies and expensive surroundings.

Dancing with the Stars (Tuesdays and Wednesdays, ABC) Yes, idols may come and go, but ballroom dancing lives on and on. Tom Bergeron and this year's female co-host, Samantha Harris (they seem unable to hold onto one beyond a season), are convivial with the sense of their success, and why not? It's a ratings juggernaut. This is a show that requires dubious "celebrities" to compete in something they were not professionally prepared for: dancing in front of millions of people on live television. Whether you are an athlete or a fellow couch potato like me, you've got to feel for these truly brave folks, risking ridicule to accomplish the ultimate mix of grace, beauty and music. Some contestants surprise you, and the teamwork between the klutzy stars and their incredibly graceful (but often nameless) professional dance partners is indeed riveting. Yes, like all the other shows, there are judges who knock heads, and yes, there is home audience voting. But the sheer physical exertion and bravery of the contestants makes it a thrill-ride and you can't help but get swept up in each of their quests for the gold. (It doesn't hurt that it's extremely well directed and edited, with a wonderfully sly sense of humor.) This program itself is the gold standard for so-called reality TV. (Predictions: Joey Lawrence and the suddenly ubiquitous Mario Lopez will make it to at least the final three.)